As the Sarah Turns: The unknown end

Starting in talk with Travis: I think I'm hearing 2 main things from you. .... Maybe someone wants to play a trickster game, but I have a bigger hunch you want a revenge your way that can only be understood by you. Because I got myself in a little deep in the last blog by asking about your marriage, you want to put it out there a little more and make me feel like an adultress or put ALL OF THE DRAMA on me, like it's all me chasing you. I can't remember the song or the name of the song off the top of my head but it was along the lines of "It's been so long since you've had a feeling of feeling swept off your feet in some way." something along those lines..... I really could call your bluff on that one. I bet you have a lot of gfs. Are you still guilty by association with David? If you take after him in some arbitrage, it isn't a good thing. You could probably have a Hank Moody lifestyle. I really don't know your story Travis. You havn't told me enough of where you come from, where you're going, or how many women you could want to bring with you...... I think you don't like the way I was previously looking at you with your own "Well, well, well what do you have here? Another troubled/defenseless woman who has 'dead meat' written all over her." Your chase and response of your "cruel to be kind" last night really wasn't cruel, but more of a compassionate approach. subject switch: Don't threaten to lie and trash talk my name like that anymore. You do it too much and I'll make your sense of "compassion" my next bullshit and joker. Your "cripple" must have been smacked around too much or too hard to threaten to make me your cut throated "cripple." I don't know what to say to the way you were hanging around in Nashville. It's like you were mad and wanted to be protective at the same time. I think some of you could have been past fragments of you that I just havn't really met. Maybe you were purely made up, but I don't know how the structure works when making you up. You were some fellow hobo or homeless person. I didn't consider myself that homeless when in Nashville. Jr and Jr may eventually be a band that I'll look up. You were in a lot of places. It hurt to have had to hurt you but I had no other choice than to stay focused and still have not completely lost my focus. I'm giving you some time, but can only allow myself so much effort.....Jack. I can't let myself make too much of a wrecked story with Jack and I. He was an oxy moron for a reason. Like I've already said to Jack, I have doubts that I will ever meet the either of you both. While I have made some kinds of relationships out of some of my Don Drapers; I've yet to have met any of them personally. They've always been too high and mighty to have the more natural, tangible, and normal relationship. I've always denied myself a main or serious credit whether or not I'm too hard on myself. Some relationships fade and with David, I'm realizing I need another man around. He takes one look at me being single and has always taken it as something else. I could still be in trouble with him and he may just strangle me in an alley way one of these days, but I need him to seriously go away. I really don't know what lies ahead in the future with either Travis or Jack. I know what my objectives and ideals are. Travis still has either to clarify or agree with mine. Travis wants to keep me. My objectives and ideals stay the same. It's not that I'm not attracted to Jack and it's not that we don't have any sexual chemistry. He already has a mastered win. It isn't that I believe in people taking people for what they're worth either. It's one relationship type to another type of relationship that works or doesn't work. Different things work with different people in both the most general and specific sense. I haven't forgot the "three women" song by Jack. Things are in the air with me. While I mean to be a slave with Jack, I had to give into my heart some. I'm a hypocrite of a player. My objectivess, ideals, and focus stays the same.