Dear Harry

While I don't think you're making too much of a serious move on me (and its ok) I know you're still making a move. I want you to know what I really think of you.... While I won't deny my own personal Canadian pride; I would greatly assume you are too good for me and someone I could never see myself having. I apologize if the little whore that I am is a little too lethal for you. I'm not out to hurt you. I saw the Canadian Andrew as an impossible relationship because of the distance, and I wasn't happy about some of his own mean comments and things I didn't completely pick up on. I was somewhat embarrassed. I could never let myself want to be with you. I've bastardized the whole structure of imperialism and I would compare a lot of imperialism to Braveheart's "Scottish Rite." I do believe some in knights in shining armor, but it isn't their lordship I wouldn't take too far. I do appreciate the heroism and rescue. I'm not quite getting the "Mike," thing either. I think you care about me some, but wouldn't think I have much of a real chance with you.......... More gossip about David. I'm not liking whatever his quiet games with me are. I know he hasn't let me go yet. Him letting go of me would mean: He would stop breaking in my head altogether (he still intentionally leaves me confused in the mind). He would also stop being jealous and possessive of me and giving me a possessive death threat. I still feel like a mistreated slave who is treated with a severe unfairness and I have no sense of equality. I'm still in a rage over the women I think he does put first and before me. He seriously has no business in wanting to stay with me at this point if he isn't going to make me his first AND ONLY. He has no common sense in understanding the rape that he has already committed. I'm thinking it was Amal that he was cheating on me with and in a very backstabbing way. Whether it is Paris or Amal; it is not ok for either to call the shots, feel they are the superior judge, or be the one in control of the relationship. It is ok for no woman. I still think Gillian is the most obvious and while she hasn't done anything too personal against me; I still feel date raped by David for her too. And then, there was the death threat with Stacy. I hate the way David thinks he can beat me with his silent karma and not explaining anything to me, or making me understand anything enough. He is cold-blooded with no common sense in wanting me to stay around and stick it out with him. I feel he is a coward more than anything with the way he leaves me hanging. He wants to wait until I "mess up," with him again to try to put it on me. He won't dump me like he means it. He wished he could put the "bad man," on me and there is still no comparison between him and I. I still call myself the victim to his Stockholm and his captive. I was trying to beat his Don Draper off of me, but I can barely say a word to him at all anymore. I can't break through to his dumb pigheaded skull. I think he will keep playing the same dumb game and if he hasn't learned anything by now, than he will never learn. I believe in his enemy and he is an enemy that I don't understand or know where he came from. I wouldn't mind your help in making his Don Draper get it, and if I ran into more Don Drapers along the way, I wouldn't mind your protection or taking a stroll with you........ I hope you have a nice day Harry.