Self-Shaming Romance

You've left a pretty bad impression on me and have been keeping me played. ... I see some signs and come on's and while I have to admit to myself that I am wooed into you in some ways, I can't completely say that I'm a sold woman to you. I still have that one foot on the ground and while both can be up in the air in another very figurative way that has yet to literally happen, I still have one foot on the ground. I'm not understanding the whole ebay hack. Dane looks like he could be coming on to me and he has a seriously bad history with me and I know I don't want him back. Do you want to reach out and grab me too? Mind catch phrase movies: Ray Charles, So I married an Axe Murderer (you as the axe murderer). While you could be wooing me, I havn't forgot about your shadiness. I need love but I don't need another terribly reckless terribly foolish, stressful, and heart wrenching relationship. While I could want to be held, my head is filled with too much doubt, your past cheating heartbreaks and hateful and mean actions and words. and if I get too romantic or believe in you enough I'm going to hurt myself in being your fool. Maybe you are standing up to Bree Ann for her dominate gossip and judgement and the way the media makes it look like she pushed herself on you, but there is still some shadiness there despite your bad signs against her. You give her a begging opportunity in your own way. Whether or not she wins with you, she's always been the type in giving herself too much credit and the fact that she has to be more aggressive, desperate, or begging in some ways means nothing. The humiliation appeared a little different in "Wolf of Wall Street," but her stories of humiliation are not the same as mine and it isn't that I let her beat me in a popularity contest either or that I would willingly give in to making a popularity contest in our different situations. I know I'm more different and she has always been desperate in her comparisons and demands of my conformity. I've really intended to keep her ignored and starved the whole time and still will never plan on befriending her in this lifetime. .... Back to you and me. You have my acknowledgement, I feel wooed and I let you in on me a little more, but I'm already jaded in the romance. While I could keep myself referred to as your "slave," you won't ever get the better of me for the Stockholm that it is. So many terrible desperate shot calls and judgement I've had to live through, through the years. Some people really should have been paying more attention to what some of their terrible judgement was trying to say. Maybe you have your own thing against judgement and see me as your terrible judge but that's what you get for being a shady player the way you do. Kill or be killed. ahaha ha. I hope you put your axe and red away but you don't always make it easy for me not to make you mad. You have such a shady anger it is sometimes hard to believe that my "Georgia" makes you so mad. Maybe you lie on purpose to want to damage me more. I choose to be the confident and insecure bitch. It's your fault.