As The Sarah Turns

What is going on with me? While I am appreciative of a recent help from David, I continue to go in the direction of wanting the rest of the relationship to die. If push came to shove with David and he seriously still had to have me that bad and keep my life threatened to give into him, I would find a way to give into him. (It'd be death to give in to him anyway with him having his disease and all). It was my own emotions and stupidity to keep wanting to be in a friendship/relationship with him, and I didn't mean to lead him on so much during what some heats of the moment were. He isn't being cautious with me at all or else I wouldn't be so flamboyant in writing about it in this blog...... I have a new crush and I feel both rejected and pursued by him. I think he is having a hard time in making his mind up and I hope he makes his mind up more firmly soon. I'm the type that just has to be put out of my misery... While I presently won't change what some of my work life's are, it's just a job for me and it really doesn't mean a lot of anything when it comes to being serious with someone through my job. I am making the choice to put my booty calls on hold for now because I will wait for my new crush a little longer. ....... I'm not extremely serious with anyone right now. I don't know what life will be like a month from now in the relationship dept.