Dog of a Dog, Fool of a fool

Dogs dogs dogs. Although I could take something several ways, I'll only take it two according to my belief and misbelief. First off, I just don't understand the mind vex that I have. If a real CIA agent wanted me to believe or trust in him, why in the world would he want to look like Shawn D'A? I'll take the stance first if everything was real to believe. What a kill he has to throw himself on me like that. Besides my Olga making everything obsolete, he makes my hatred and every hateful word I've said obsolete. We have both betrayed each other. Two different ways of mind over matter. Besides knowing my history and the things I could always want to use against him; I feel so defenseless. There is something that he does so right and making me feel like there are NO STRINGS. Whether or not he was wanting to make me a severe fool; it felt good to me to make him know the serious "no" and resistance I have against the baby's father. I haven't been desperate for anyone this whole time, and I am especially not going to be desperate for the baby's father either. He never threatened me with his conquestial terrorism that has always been and I have the biggest mind vex with his dog of a dog. Maybe he has a sincere thug love (knowing it is right to defend myself against John's stalker). It isn't that the literal man is coming across as a thug, but a "rightful," authority. There is a way I feel I could die. ....... In being anything but naïve; I did have a few songs to play for this CIA dude. NIN's "Closer," "Bite the Hand that Feeds You," Ludacris' "Fantasy" Dead Weather "Cut Like a Buffalo" . It was my own laugh of his own doggishness and irony. Boy, did that man keep me fed more than well last night. I don't think I'm on this dude's hit list, but I think I could be on Shawn D's hit list. I think Shawn would want to make the biggest fool of me. Maybe he wants to prove me wrong, but I just don't understand him. Why would he be the hateful killer, predator, and conquistador of a man at one time and all of a sudden everything isn't like that anymore? Is it my inevitable vulnerability and that I'm "easier" in a different way? If he were real, I'd probably be mostly quiet and listless for awhile and eventually have more to say. I'm just not understanding if this CIA dude really wants to represent himself why he does give me the vibe he is being in the senate for someone else, or wants to leave some kind of impression on me in using someone else?