Hey

So...... In one way it seems you don't have any serious staking hate against me, but I keep it a little in question. Maybe there was a time you hated me for Paris and could have wanted to gang rape me for her, but that is all I could assume for why you would want to hate me. I don't completely know where you came from or what it is about me that makes me attract you, but you have some kind of attraction for me. I can't make any promises to you. I'm skeptical of not just you, but men in general. I know I attract various men from time to time with the stripper reputation that I have, but I've never had a big belief that they have a serious intent in wanting any serious relationship with me. Some times are more depressing than others. It matters to have more than only a sexual attraction. It is quite complicated in being a stripper. ... I'd consider myself a mind-whore right now. ... It's nothing too personal against anyone. It's a combination of my reluctance; ability to take a man seriously; ability to have a better and more personal connection with a man. I don't have too much of a reason to care enough. I have a thing for Pete still too, but his continued lack of real presence is the reason it fades more. How could he expect me to lead myself on to him anymore than what I do? I just can't take you seriously enough right now Vonny, and I have a little bit of a care free and depressed approach. I think it seems you want to have an unconditional sexual relationship with me. It's a little lewd; a little shallow, but not entirely shallow; to have sex without any reason than the fact that we could. It is what I would idealize a domesticated relationship to be, but I guess some people like to feel some kind of accomplishment before fucking instead of "hey let's fuck." Part of me wouldn't care if you wanted it to be like "hey, let's fuck," but it really is not a promise I can keep to be a constant willing and easy woman for you. Maybe your "death" was because I'm still being a mind-whore with Pete too. You're the one who isn't being the constant easy willing one now. Maybe your "death" doesn't mean anything at all, and I'm still in the same square one of my mind whore drama..... I don't know..... I'm neither a non-gamer nor up to the game. Not necessarily changing when I'm being blown by the wind, but I'm a little drifty and care free right now. ..... Not sure if I'm too heartless for you but unlike you and other Burmuda men, I'm not leaving you hanging in too much mystery or level of terror with the unknown. I give you some kind of confirmation and more solid communication. hmph!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn Burmuda men. stupid communication. .... I'm stressing over several other things right now. I was so glad and in some relief to have made bank this weekend. When I get my federal taxes, a little more relief and major changes will be here, but I'm still anxiously waiting to get some of my bills paid so I can get out of this house. I don't know where I want to move anymore. I don't know what I'll be doing after the next couple of months and I'm a little stressed and depressed over some of life's present hardships.... Good evening to you and I hope the rest is well.