Rough Week

So far the only good thing that has happened this week has been a decent paycheck from my other part time job. The night job has been slow and I really underestimated the weather last night which put my night in the negative hole. I'd rather pay a small price for a hotel stay than gamble the odds of hospital bills and car repair. The back roads were so seriously dangerous. It wasn't the thicket sheet of ice that I've seen but there was a sheet of ice on the roads. It's a wonder that we had any customers at all last night. I guess driving in the ice was the customer's additional thrill last night........ My baby girl was sick earlier in the week, I had to postpone one work day and leave a shift early, I've still had some rough nights of sleep, and one of the worst hits to take of all this week was the way Jack left me hanging in an insult. I don't even feel he has ran to come chasing after me or making any effort to redeem himself after I hit him back with "one less problem." Sometimes it's bad to take a kill, but what's worse is not being loved enough and being left to hang........... I can only keep going the one less problem route and I'm not necessarily looking for a rebound. I feel hit from another man by another approach than a rebound, but I guess he used it as his opportunity anyway. I'm pretty sure I know his name, but I don't completely remember the way he looks either. This is another random guy I met awhile back and don't know him enough at all. While I have doubts that he is a match, he's an alpha male coming after me and I'm targeted by him for some reason. I bet he does have another woman, he's just a certain alpha male type. He has an approach that Travis has: "I'm a stripper who is asking for it and has "fuck me" written all over her." (It isn't that I want to try to be friends with Quinn on this one either. I think Jack probably is dumping me for Quinn and I hate her now. It isn't the most serious hate, but I have to have a little bit of a grudge against Jack too because of the way he will keep my sex threatened like some other unwanted men. One less problem Jack) "I'm a stripper who is asking for it." While I have a tough time defending myself especially with the Pamela name change, it's a really painful kill to take from this local. I really have had periods that come and go from different people whose terrible approach brings a worse pain, and the name "Pamela," has helped my peace of mind some. The pain I'm in with this local alpha really is not as bad as the other pain, but it hurts to be wanted by him. If I could afford to be summoned by him, I would stop at the place I would assume him to be at tonight. Last night put me in the hole and the next last night I worked was terribly slow and I didn't make much that night either. I'm curious to see him and try to remember the face to his name and wonder what he would do if I tried to see him. I wonder if he would be mad if I came to him, or he wants to keep me his secret in his basement. His basement with a cage LOL oh so terrible because I sometimes do have a serious bloody murder scream... enough said in that thought....If he really means to be possessive the way he was being; the possessiveness is unfair and a little on the terrifying side. I might be able to see him in a couple of weeks. I was thinking about going to Pittsburgh and pick a club to try near the end of the month. (Not looking for a rebound in this instance either. For the sake of traveling.) I really don't know where I'm going and maybe this is just a brief fling of this guy's heat where it will fade off and I'll continue on with everyday life...Until then, continuing on and keeping myself moving