As the Sarah Turns: A seriously bad day

I woke up late and had a really rough start to my day. I fell back asleep after the alarm went off. I was mostly able to have my display set up by opening time. I wanted to have finished a bag by then but it didn't work out because of rush hour traffic and a few blips on my mapquest directions from the previous day. On the way to the convention this morning, I scratched a part of my car in the parking garage. Not only did that occurrence happen, but I discovered that the front screen of my phone was shattered. It still works, but I will definitely have to get it replaced. I'm so upset to have another random expense come up. Fortunately, I can procrastinate with this one. I have felt exhausted most of the day. Life has been so stressful in the past few days. While I wasn't able to work any nights this week, I was able to pick up a lot of extra work time at my day job in the earlier part of the week. With the ups and downs of it all, my first day at the convention hasn't really been a success. I only made one sale today and I'm pretty upset about it. I wouldn't say it was crowded today. Maybe my location for this type of fall festival is off and Ocean City is mostly a ghost town. I still did assume that it still had some population during the winter season, but there doesn't seem to be much of one. I'm really upset about it. While I still have tomorrow, I was hoping this festival would have been a banking one. I've had festivals where I don't make anything the first day but a lot the next, but it's not always guaranteed to work out. I'm not going to put my hopes up too much tomorrow. If anything, I'll experiment with a different festival location for next year. If I am going to get back into spring and summer crafting, I would have wanted to pick the same place, but the variables with it all are still many. Definitely a busier place in spring and summer and it could be an opposite effect compared with the fall crafts....I really don't know what I'm going to do yet. This convention center has been the best and seriously grand building I have been in yet, but I havn't been making the best of sales.... In the rest of my exhaustion, I had a pretty sleepless night last night. I felt both very lucky and unlucky.... I meant to bring sleeping pills to help incase sleeplessness happened but failed to remember to bring them. I think I will most likely have better rest tonight. My heart breaks back to my luck and unluck. David is still lurking and creeping around. Josh has some kind of revenge and something has gotten into him. Jack and the Copper keep an interest and keep me guessing and tested. I'm not understanding some men in my life. It has been a long time since I've felt like such a man magnet. I know I want attention and love. It's not all love though. I know some men to be mean and sick and I'm not understanding the what or why of the mean and sick. I feel a little embarrassed for myself and I know a few really mean to get the better of me. ....... My room was supposed to come with a Jacuzzi tub, but it came with a regular bath tub. I just finished a lavender salt bubble bath anyway and it was a nice stress relief and cleanse. And although I didn't make a lot of money, I really need the comfort food and a comfort drink. After that, I plan to knit myself to sleep for the remainder of the night.

From Travis: Dear Future Wife

Well Travis, looks like I am defenselessly left to play a sloppy guessing game of pretend. Must be over with you and your wife. While you have yet to suffer any severe injuries as in "Me Before You," it is something that could possibly happen. And what would happen if you became permanently paralyzed as a para or quadrapalegic? I just can't get over that was the ending of the movie. I teared up during some parts of the movie, but I didn't let out my sobbing cry until the movie was over. It almost looked like he was going to stay alive for her. I thought his "stay with me" was that he would want a marriage but it was "stay with me until I pass away." I'm crying again over just typing it already. It was so sad Travis. It was so awful. I've never had that much of a complete brainstorm over euthanasia, but when his insufferable reality hit and the way he chose to die anyway, I'm just crying and crying. It was so sad. I knew that movie was going to make me cry. I bet if we ever were a serious couple and it happened you might be too attached or unselfish in letting yourself die. You never know until you cross the bridge. You could think differently. Until you experience it, you just don't until you do. I could imagine the pain that he was in, but that was so fearless of him. He was accepted and if he ever felt lonely he really could have found friends who were paralyzed. He could have joined a group whether or not they were born a cripple or if it were accidental. ................ You seem to be around in some ways and maybe you did make a choice to break off and get over me while I get over you. Maybe you are waiting for something, whether it was me watching the movie or not. I don't know what you're waiting for, or if you really are wanting to stay a friend and in touch anyway. I don't like the situation for what it still is. I know I can't trust you enough. I hate the idea of putting up with another man who has dated my enemies too. I still never caught up on Amanda Knox either. I never read her book; I didn't get into all of the details in the media. It looked like another subjective and cut throat insecurity probe that also came with another sick boob obsession. Stacy and Erin won't have that privilege of discussion with me, the sick psychos. ........In the main original route it was intended, I saw the way the character had a share with me anyway and tied me into it anyway. Again, I don't think it is a fair statement for you to make where I'm your unfair one who is your rapist who intentionally sets you up to be my most defenseless. To handicap someone is to be cut throat, make them defenseless in some way or another, having them unfairly played, having them unfairly rigged, or set up in an arbitrage against them, pidgeon-holing, out-numbering. All along the lines of make someone your cripple..... Maybe I somehow could have done something to you if you're in my blindside, but sorry to say you set yourself up to fail with that one when you're the one who makes yourself my wigger. It's not my fault that you would be my criminal from the start. If you are planning to go the same route as David and compete to be my victim with your "Velma" off of Chicago, I really don't understand what your victimization competition would be Travis. You're already married. How does my single stranger make your married stranger my victim? Travis, this really is the last project that I see with you. I don't know if more puzzle pieces or fragments are out there of you, or if there was ever anymore meant to be said, but I'm out. This is the last hurdle I see. If you had anymore to say or wanted me to get; it's up to you to get the communication across.