As The Sarah Turns

What is going on with me? While I am appreciative of a recent help from David, I continue to go in the direction of wanting the rest of the relationship to die. If push came to shove with David and he seriously still had to have me that bad and keep my life threatened to give into him, I would find a way to give into him. (It'd be death to give in to him anyway with him having his disease and all). It was my own emotions and stupidity to keep wanting to be in a friendship/relationship with him, and I didn't mean to lead him on so much during what some heats of the moment were. He isn't being cautious with me at all or else I wouldn't be so flamboyant in writing about it in this blog...... I have a new crush and I feel both rejected and pursued by him. I think he is having a hard time in making his mind up and I hope he makes his mind up more firmly soon. I'm the type that just has to be put out of my misery... While I presently won't change what some of my work life's are, it's just a job for me and it really doesn't mean a lot of anything when it comes to being serious with someone through my job. I am making the choice to put my booty calls on hold for now because I will wait for my new crush a little longer. ....... I'm not extremely serious with anyone right now. I don't know what life will be like a month from now in the relationship dept.

Indiscrete discretion

Or is it the other way around? Ethics ethics ethics.......... (I should probably give another obvious gesture with who I'm looking at...hmm...if it weren't for him, me and other people would have problems with being able to look and have sight. )... With some men, ethics are out the door. With some other men, the thought of ethics has never crossed their minds and are so full of their Don Drapers, that they are another Dave Letterman waiting to happen. Something along those lines. And, there really are men that exist where ethics DO MATTER..... A certain someone is quite testy and I can't help but take the ball gag off and be a little testy myself. How much does he believe in ethics OR how much of a videogame or jousting game does he want to make it? How much am I his own personal Jesus? Is he a jouster or a Jesus? I will be Jesus enough to say that it would hurt my feelings if he was intentionally playing a game to only put a fool on me. merci~ I guessed that he could only be making me be guessing, but I have no other choice to guess he has more of an intent to make me just guess. He has an open window of time with my patience. It isn't too extreme of a now or never. I just may not be as available or -available- in the future......