I wish I didn't have to keep saying goodbye

I'm going to have to go with my mind gut more. It could be possible that I'm getting fucked with in the head more and lied to, but if it were all the truth, here is my stance: I'm not sure what it really is that you are trying to say. The picture still looks the same. My thoughts remain the same: I am brutally betrayed. When you continue to sexually advance on me, it seems it is all about the heat and the lust. You never have given me the impression until recently that you are a conquestial terrorist. You may not be out to terrorize me the way some other men have. I know not all dominate people want me to be suicidal. I have a feeling that I have some Canadian men from Toronto rooting for me. Not sure how the love comes from somewhere anonymously sometimes, but not everyone wants me to be suicidal. I know you turn me on. I think we do have good sexual chemistry. HOWEVER I will not be two timed or played. Not with Kim. Not with Katie. Not with anyone. I can't go forward and I can't go backward. I know I meant what I said. When I am betrayed, I am betrayed. Although you continually sexually advance on me, you haven't done anything to enable us going forward. The threat is still there. I know I am making the conscious choice to try to run from you. I especially got drunk last night and messed around as much as I could. While I know I have no boyfriend for now, I know the choices I am making now. I really don't know what to say anymore or what more there is to say. SINGLE AND STILL LOOKING