What Life Would Be Like With a Boob Job

I'd like to start with a good secret I don't care to keep anymore. It doesn't really count as much but it is the fact that I WOULD think to consider before considering other options. As an Uber driver, people ask annoying questions about my experiences as a driver all of the time. I don't remember this passenger's name but that part doesn't matter. He was a young and good looking guy who looked to be foreign his self but he was asking for his "friend." I had given this passenger my number when he asked for it, he later texted and asked if I would marry his friend from another country so he could have his U.S. citizenship and he would pay me money. Whether or not he was joking/testing or wanting to be serious was of some matter, but I really enjoyed exploring the thought. Of course there are a few fears about it. If the guy was a matured enough guy who was serious and seriously put together with focus in mind and we had a well said consensual agreement, it could be a happy camping situation for the both of us. Maybe there is a possibility we would like each other and actually want the marriage but what if he was a total nightmare that lived in the same house as me most of the time? What if he did the worst things in front of my daughter and brought home gay boyfriends or something? I could always use the weapon of divorcing him back into his country. But the next major fear and determiner of my choice was my paranoia with the ICE police. I believe I am a hated woman. I believe I'm so hated that I wouldn't be able to get away with a divorce if I wanted to. Moreso, the biggest fear is having to go to jail and pay a major fine. I believe an ICE police officer would go through great measure to sniff out and find evidence of a sham marriage. It would be like I would have a brief joyride if the former worked out and we had a consensual agreement and wasn't some whack job, but then the ICE cop would just put something on me and the marriage wouldn't be worth it to me if I had to pay a fine and go to jail like that. Had I not had to worry about that, I wouldn't have felt I was going to matter to any man any time soon and would have felt a satisfaction to a sham wedding. He would have his citizenship, I'd have some extra money. A thought I've obviously thought about.......... So besides me having a long lived scream against superficial men, I've had screams against the thought of being held beneath a comparative woman's undertaker. It only matters to me what a man thinks of me, but apparantly I've always been lied against and battered by a woman's conceitd arrogance with whatever she says goes. While I know men or the lesbian make a choice to subject me and put other women or there lesbian self before me, it's not my choice that they are before me. Thus this is the reason I scream rape. I may not even be touched but it feels like rape and makes me insane. I hate the way people lie and deny their actions WHILE I KNOW I'M SUFFERING. Such a terror to live with....... Back to men being the actual focus when it comes to getting a boob job. They are just as much as a drag as they were before. It's nothing that I like to even joke with. The fact of the matter is when I feel my life gets intentionally put on the line too much over the issue: would I really rather be dead? What is it worth to me to be alive while having a boob job? It's like I'll always have this undertaker who will always be the same worst relentlessness wanting me to be under the same structured abuse AND I CANNOT SAVE MYSELF FROM THE UNDERTAKER'S BOOB JOB ULTIMATUM. I've been hurt, rejected, cast under, slammed into walls, been ignored, been neglected, put through so many types of abuse, how long will I always be suffering the abuse of the ultimatum and condition? When someone doesn't want to accept me and puts me through countless kill switches, I'm being killed AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THE WAY I'M BEING KILLED. I've lived my whole life wanting to be loved and accepted for who I am. It has always and will always be a big deal to me. Forget my identity as a parent and a village parent. "Nobody is ever going to survive unless they do more and more to make theirself better looking to someone. Forget your life story. Forget what you are capable of. Your looks will always matter more than your story or what you are capable of doing. You won't be allowed to be capable of anything unless you look really good." That would be the message I would have the hardest time saying to anyone with me having a boob job. I may have been a victim of someone who wasn't going to stop comparing myself to her with her boob job, but I would'nt want someone to be a faithless victim to my boob job. It murders me so much when someone wants to point the gun at me like I'm the one who cares about my breast size the most when I've always been brutalized and left in the cold because of my breast size. It murders me when conditional men seriously want to think they're the good guy and almost make me feel like a rapist because I don't have a boob job and am too unattractive. What manipulative wife beating pussies to want to call me the rapist like that. Man that's murder. Personally I don't think it has ever been fair for many men to want to treat me like a dead beat. Where is the introduction? Where is any kind of story? Where was the Tango? Where was any fairness to begin with? I'd be called a dead beat because it is the way a man has to have his dominant way. He is a fool to think he can make me feel safe when I don't feel I have much of a clue or much of a say. He is a fool to think he can make me feel safe if I don't see a give and take or tango. The nerve some possessive men have and the dominant way they want me played and said their way. THE FUCKING NERVE. So, I'd still be a dead beat with the boob job. I didn't matter without them, the man who wants to make me feel like I'm all of a sudden a somebody and that I'd matter more with them is a wife beating jerk off. That should always be obvious but some people just won't get or face "what's so wrong about getting a boob job?" My comments would be around: Man: "Nice knockers lady," Me: "Gee thanks." So I've compromised some of my respect as a stripper. Do I really have to fall under all of the stereotypes of a stripper and the amount of plastic surgery some strippers get done? It was a lot to compromise myself like that. It was my survival. I was getting fired all of the time and sent the worst terrorizing email like I need to be on Social Security. To compromise myself more in getting a boob job just takes the life out of me. I really don't know how I'd live with a larger fake set. I'd be melancholy and dead beat in a lot of ways. I know some sadists would get the better of me and wanting to shame or scorn me over it. I'd tell them, you want to put my life up for debate, you go talk to my undertaking exes and watch their rape be proud for me against me. I couldn't give my sadist the satisfaction like that in saying it was against me. I'd just refer him to Jon Stewart, David Duchovny, or the worst extreme Elon Musk. They're all gay or bi, they might not mind you wanting to rub off your sadistic anger with them. They'd fight and protect that boob job. I just have the worst scuff over someone wanting to be an ignorant shamer. Don't waste any more of my time or breath, on the time and breath that's already wasted.