Dear Violent Mystery Cop of Blackbeard

I don't understand you and I don't think you know how to understand yourself. I'm isolated with you all the more and you give me feelings of restlessness. I'm still dead to you in some ways but you just never made a lot of sense to begin with. You attract me, you have your own violent episode of despair and the statistic of despair you were wanting to limit me into being. It's part of your will to let yourself have your own made up right and bs reason for bondage. Maybe in that time period a couple years ago the drama was a little more severe and a large scale level... You weren't being loyal to me, you were using the information against me. You were a man that showed some recognition and acknowldement but I felt just as alone. I think you are more skeptical, statistical, in despair, and probably more of an atheist than I'll ever be. I do have times of knowing I'm being really failed and let down but you just wanted to add all of the more damnation to it. You have a faded reason and some kind of an excuse where you expect me to just not care and even make me feel threatened with what your competitive remarks are. You're still not going for my trust enough at all. As much as your skepticism would see everything as a lost cause, you would see the trust issue as that too BUT DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN TO BLACKMAIL ME WITH WHAT YOU DO AND HOW MUCH MORE ITS MY FAULT LIKE I'M TOO INSECURE WHEN YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUST WORTHY AND HAVE ME ISOLATED EXTREMELY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR REAL NAME. This is actually the first time in a long time that I get up in the middle of the night over my restlessness and start talking to you. angry pillow talk I guess you could call it. You hurt me hard. You seem you want me to be trapped over it and although I can't deny there is something attractive about you, when you break a woman's heart and just kill me in other ways too, there is a real loss of yours. Part of your skepticism and atheism thats nothing to you but its something to me. If you do something that harsh before, odds are you will do it again. I was hurt but then I just couldn't care after that point after so long. You don't seem to understand the type of person I am. I believe in a will to believe in someone and to have hopes and dreams. You hinder my will to believe and have hope. Because of what your approach is, it's always like I'm just hitting a wall with you. If you have a reason to just have your bollywood show up in my life, I really don't know what it is you are wanting. Don't you dare disrespect me like I'm pure sleeze that doesn't care. I'm a little depressed and don't care but its not that I don't care like that. I cared for you at one time and its painful and its cheap and negligent. goodnight.