Gibberish and volumes

I bet an old man can still beat me up if he wanted to. But a significantly younger person just can't be the victim to the elder. pow pow. And I didn't want to be the one to take any kill or pain. (maybe I have and I may still have to). Besides knowing I can't win with some factors, I'll give some to knowing there are things I know I don't want to know and would hurt me to know. To one big bad bollywood.... Another bollywood is on the fence of "criminal." I don't know his age but he looks on the older side. This one is a local and I believe he has a serious inclination he was being looked at by me. We are at a distance barking back and forth and it is another bollywood situation I don't like, especially when I have to sit there and blink until he gets he needs to be a little more clear or know what it means to have actual action. There is a messenger there though and while I saw one sign, I refused to look at the ad of the messenger. I stay mad at his complex, the regulation, and the way he doesn't reach me on his own.... While I see some signs that he means to be safe, I don't like a recent sign and still won't know if it is the messenger to blame or him to blame, but if he would have reached me on his own, an exploitive messenger wouldn't be there to begin with. I feel sadistically provoked. .... I've had a number of zoosk dates that have turned out to be disasters. The last one several months ago was definitely horrible. I hate how all the more damned I feel with isolation and my attempts of searching when the odds of the search are against me. Jealousy comes in many forms and many are too vain to admit or come close to seeing their jealousy. But when you bring up jealousy, a person can put a hunt or manipulation on anything to call it jealousy. I get so livid when I'm on a date and have a feeling or knowing that I'm more than hunted, stalked, and envied, but being played in an unfair and cut throat way. Doesn't a person get they should look like they care or want to care? Don't they at least want the person you are with to GENUINLY AND SINCERELY feel comfortable and open and doesn't he himself want to feel comfortable and open? I feel I get so man-hunted and hated to my face that I can't stand to be publicly faced like that. Of course this feeds the flame to their push of "this is why there is bollywood," when they won't even get they are the reason to the problem. But most man-hunters play stupid in the worst way like its always going to be a wrestling match to see who can push the other out of the circle first with who is at the butt end in being called "jealous" or "insecure," .... "Huh? I'm a stalker? I'm not attacking you! What's your problem? You're so insecure!" And then it is the double kill with their being the bully in keeping you robbed of your lunch money (reputation) because they want to make you pay the price for the way they act and behave. A man can go through motions and get what it means to LITERALLY open a door for a lady, but in their mind chivalry is beyond dead. I feel it hurts me more than it helps me to try to search and date for a man anymore. My last Zoosk date ended with an extremely silent cut off from my end which brings me back to what I was saying with the local bollywood. I have been made to feel blackmailed in so many jealous and ridiculous ways, I'm not too phased by the way the local wants to look creepy. The first and only time I saw him, he looked like Jon Stewart the most which was a reason I thought nothing of him and treated him to disposal. But I know this bollywood means to hit on me but he looks like another Butch 50 shades Christian who wants to smack me around with more jealous stupidity. I've known I've had all I can stand, but when will I ever be saved from Christian's Butch? Do you not realize what you do to me when you seriously want to question or keep me questioned along the lines of who you specifically want to make yourself look like? What gives with your Butch wanting to make me pay the price? It's obviously not the first time it's happened, but it is such a sick, jealous, and hateful addiction of hate and sadism some men have with the worst intent. You really interrogate, manhunt, and bully all women like that? Of course you would want me to feel singled out and womanized all the more. I really do hate insulting someone and especially being forced to insult someone, but I've always had one of two options: to be insulting or numb. The name "Butch," needs to be taken as one of the worst and serious insults there are. I hate how much of a jealous bias and prejudice someone won't stop wanting and forcing me to be had with. I need more justice.