If Larry was in my radar

Sometimes, I believe in some far fetched things with logical reason. I have heard the term of "safety net," before, and the thought that some people can't live with themselves if they leave the other for dead. It isn't always like that. I'm not saying Larry does or doesn't have an intentional dominate compassion or that some mysterious capitalist secret society does... I still hate karma..... When I got "visited," by a few Bollywood men while being with Larry, it was the main lead to wonder whether or not Larry was cheating on me. Did some men already have a knowing truth about Larry and that he had been cheating on me and lying to me while I was with him? They were a revenge that I didn't know or plan for? They could have been doing it in their own selfish, mean, and possessive piggishness on their own who still had no regard to my kill with Bollywood over Bollywood being the Bollywood and Stockholm that it is. Bollywood is the lesser relation and relationship. Some men can be too much of an arrogant Draper to ever get the inferior Bollywood they are..........Anyway, I can't say this is an apology to Larry. If I were to eat his words of "being incapable of being in a relationship," I obviously can't control the out of control Bollywood and the way I am thrown in to being some prostitute that doesn't even get paid in a prostitution ring that I'm still out of the loop with in a lot of ways. I can't control whatever prostitute I am that doesn't even get paid for it. I'd keep painfully calling it the basement slave victim situation that it is. I know I get seduced sometimes, but I was never wanting to hurt Larry or even wanted him to feel rejected by the Bollywoods. I never made any choice with them while I was with Larry. If all of the Bollywood radar were real; Larry did hurt me in the radar and it would still be a hopeless situation. It appeared Larry did want an unsaid bisexual open relationship that I was nowhere near being comfortable with. He also made me feel second best to someone else in the Bollywood. I felt murdered. I felt cursed over more totalitarian Islamic behavior. As much as a norm it should be in any relationship for a man to put the woman he is with first and before any other woman; I feel I am being murdered over someone's dominant and most dominate Islamic beliefs that there are queens and other women she should be forced to be subjected to. I feel I have several curses over my life when it comes to being in a relationship but what a most forbidden and hated expectation from others it has been of mine to have ever been a man's first and foremost. Although I could question Larry being someone's fellow Muslim who wanted me to stay despite his truth and truth of situation, I believe there are other men out there who are the most serious extreme and radical over women being subjected to other women or "queens." I've felt in terror for a long time over some radical and extreme men and want to know where the more normal non-sadistic and non-hateful ones are. I lead myself to a few tangents with one main tangent with Larry, but I can't put it on Larry for being one of the most radical yet. I know I see Larry being a little Bollywood on me in some ways and he is still abstract in a lot of ways with the rest of Bollywood. But Larry if you were in my radar and knew all about the Bollywood in my radar; I haven't forgotten some things you could have truthfully said or done that are still in question. When you make some abstract Bollywood things count; you make all abstract Bollywood things count.