Seriously, nothing new

Personally David, Urban Dictionary creeps me out and I would believe you would use it as one of your tools to creep me out and attack me in such low ways at times..... Anyhoo, today's entry has some kind of expression to say: Fuck It Mountain- It's after you realized you have taken so much shit from people because you are nice. And every time you do something bs the pile gets bigger and bigger until you have reached the tipping point where you are like fuck this shit I'm out. Then whatever comes your way, you don't care. "Fuck this, I'm pretty sure I'm on fuck it mountain right now. Go ahead, it symbolizes life right now." ....... this can be taken in several different ways. I could guess its a connection with broke back mountain and maybe you do prefer to fuck men over women.... It's still a disturbing thought for me. Your intimacy did matter more at an earlier time. Because lying games and open relationships are acceptable to you; I wish you would have understood more the joke of whatever intimacy your were ever supposed to be..... Living on lies? What relationship? What intimacy? I guess with the way I cliff you off; there will probably be many things I will never know and that could be some of my further point in being so carefree about it. What and how much would knowing things matter after some point? Maybe this is your sign of letting go where its not completely letting go, but you denying your own possessive violence to want to torment me with your Hank Moody role at a later time..... I do take this one as you letting me go and dropping your possessive violence. I'm not really sexually rampant right now. I am in a state of passivity, but who knows the next time when I sleep with someone? I think rather than lead me on the way you did and make marriage suggestions, you should have approached me with your "fuck it mountain" from the start. I would have had more respect for you than you intentionally lying for whatever real reason you would have wanted to keep me around. ..... Maybe if this is how you want to take my present mindset and other men breaking in my head, it could be your own peace of mind that "I don't care." It probably is more of a continuation of your excuse to want to fuck around, but you seriously should have never led me on like that David. If you wanted to still keep me around as an open relationship, it is my same problem worded in a different way meaning the same thing. Like I said, I don't consider myself rampant right now, but whenever I get fucked, then I get fucked.